The Delusion

Told you this would be my next blog, I feel I have to clear a few things up here, it is something I always thought and well it has to totally shattered and blown out of the water.
I was always scared of going to the gym because I would think everyone would look at this fat cow walking in there and lifting about 1kg of weights and sweating all over the place ready to die of a heart attack, well people I have news for you and it is pretty much all bad!
It took me 2 cancellations of a meeting and about 6 walks past the gym before I went in and then I still took someone with me (thank you Murat)
I do know there are some gyms out there that are just for plastic people, they look down their nose at the larger people and they are all lovely in shape and are very unaccepting to well hmm people like me so I think it is rather important to try a few gyms out, the gym I attend it is totally amazing.
I had no idea where I should start with my fitness so I got myself a personal trainer also to help me get over my delusion and feel more accepted (even though I didn't need it after all) after my first workout session I was empowered (this word seems to light for how I felt actually) and I joined the gym instantly and it is one of the best things I have ever done.
There are so many people of different shapes, sizes and ages at the gym it is refreshing to know my state of mind was just that, all in my head! I was even scared I would get there and be lifting the smallest weights and people laughing, but it is also not how much you lift that matters it is the action and movements you make, mind you I am a bigger build and due to my swimming when I was younger I am lifting a heck of an amount of weight lol.
Jogging, ok this is somewhat different, I am out jogging the streets and in the forest, truth be known I am the biggest person out there jogging that I have seen to date, though I really do not give a shit, I look at it like this, I am out there improving my health and my state of mind, the feeling I get from jogging (and most times walking to get my breath back) if refreshing, calming and just amazingly relaxing (unless I fall in a rabbit hole) I do not care if people comment about my big fat arse and tits bounding down the road as in a few months the will still be driving their car past me as I am jogging and they will have neck pain for a few days from double taking me then picking up their jaw and thinking " that was the fat chick from a few weeks back" then they will look down at their spare tire and think " why am I driving still I could have her body" Yup, always think positive, keep the eye on the mountain as the path you will travel over, right BD ?
The path is just the journey to the mountain and baby how good I will look at the top of that mountain!
positive positive positive, life is way to short to think of the negative, and that goes with everything that you endure every minute of the day!
I have a goal, it is not a number on the scales it is not a dress size it is a state of mind and well being! If I can break down the barriers I had of myself thinking there was no hope, anyone can, believe me on that!!!