The Carnage continues

As regular readers know I am bashing out a kitchen, what fun it is imagining my ex's face on every tile I chisel away at, I have smashed away at the kitchen with anger most times which end up rather soothing and relaxing, pulling the roof down was just delightful like ripping away the old layers of my life.
Yes silly as it sounds but this whole ordeal (yes ordeal) is feeling like a nice fresh start to a new chapter in my life. My level of stress I usually encounter when thinking of all the crap going on in my life has lowered.
It has taken years and many many rollercoaster rides of emotions but it has hit me like a sledge hammer ( I am guessing the same size hammer that I keep hitting my fingers with when I miss the tiles) That, most of the stress in my life is my ex, BUT, I can not change that, I can not change the way he thinks and the actions he takes, I can not influence the judges thoughts when I go to court or the outcome of court. The fact it is a female judge I cant even wear a short skirt and a low cut top to help the outcome, I know it is obvious that I can't "control" what is happening but that does not stop the stress of wanting to or thinking you could have done better, or said and done something different, the fact is I have come to realize I NEED to just go with the flow and know that I cant control everything even if I want to.
So time to go with the flow, relax, enjoy the fresh new start and the carnage in the kitchen!