Pissed off Beyond Belief

I am just going to type this blog as it comes out with no editing so I hope that you all can understand what I am writing and see the story behind my frustration and emotion. If not here, is a little step by step and I hope it helps. Skip to the parts you want to read.

1. Just general bitching

2. Children are the future and no one gives a shit!

3. My fight, frustration and emotions. My world turns for this?

4. Ending with a large dose of tears rolling down my face!

As the heading states I am really pissed off. I can't believe the shit going on in the world, Ok we all have our days where we are mad, upset, depressed and hey, even a happy day or 2 thrown in there.

1 My General Bitching

I go surfing around at some blogs and I keep seeing shit of no interest (well to me anyway) and the same things repeated over and over again on goodness knows how many blogs:

Oh wow the mentos and diet coke thing..whoop whoop fucking whoop!

Britney is pregnant again. oh no, the world will so drastically change. It becomes old news very fast. I enjoy reading personal diaries. It is everyday people with everyday struggles.

2. Children are the future and no one gives a shit!

My profile talks about how I am fighting the Belgian justice system. I have never said much about it but the shit going on right now in the Netherlands and Belgium has got me so pissed off so I am going to blurt it all out ( well10% of it).

Over the last 2 days there have been 2 children to go missing in Belgium and 2 children were killed in The Netherlands. Lets start with the Belgian case. 2 children are missing. The mother of these 2 girls was out with ALL 6 of her children to a pub until 3:00 in the morning. When she went to go home, she did a head count and 2 of hergirls were missing!

In that pub on the same night was a man who had a criminal record and was charged years ago and served his sentence. Yes, he was charged with sexual misconduct with minors but this guy was ARRESTED with no evidence at all and has been charged with the kidnapping of these two girls. I am not defending this guy but what about evidence? Heck I stole bubblegum when I was younger so every bubblegum that goes missing. the police will come after me?

Ok back to the story. Only 24-48 hours later the mother was AGAIN out at the pub but this time only with the youngest until all hours of the morning. After a complaint by the father, all of the remaining, un-kidnapped children where taken into protective custody.

Now in the Netherlands case; 2 children (one 6 months and the other 2 years old) where killed by their mother and all that has been said about it was from the child protection agency "Oh we had an idea something was wrong but we never thought it was so serious" Well to little to late...

To think that I am fighting for my daughter and there are 2 countries involved; Belgium and The Netherlands. Goodness me there is no hope for me!

3. My fight, frustration, and emotions. My world turns for THIS??!!!!

Well here is why I am pissed off and yes it is my everyday life!

I am fighting to get my daughter back who is now with her father and the reason given? "We do not want a Belgian child living in the Netherlands with an Australian mother!

There are reports and investigations that have been done where it is states from ALL PARTIES that the father has no clue when it comes to whatto do with a child or how to take care of a child. She has had infections in places and at that time was immediately removed from his care and this was only on a 2 week vacation. His excuse for her infections? "She is a girl; I am a male. I do not clean her there" This IS stated in the reports with HIS signature! The child protection is worried for the safety of my daughter but they can not do anything else as the appeal court has made a ruling. I do not see how a judge can ignore facts and investigations from child protection.

Her father has visits from people 2-3 times a week to see that everything is going ok. His mother, who lives 1 hour away, lives with my ex during the week to look after my daughter but yet my ex puts our daughter in the daycare in the mornings at 7am. Why is this? His mother does not want to get up so early. To put more icing on the cake, my ex has money and he pays people to do what he wants. He puts our daughter in danger. He has paid for people that he's met on the internet to fly to Belgium from the USA to him.and I quote "to see if they will be a good mother for Alia". Our daughter speaks Dutch. She can understand English but she answers in Dutch. So he is planning on bringing a stranger that he knows nothing about and who can't speak the language of our daughter into the house to raise her? My ex is still using it against me in the court that I am not fluent in Dutch. Yet he does this? Puts our child at risk! He is also involved with Vlaams Blok, which by the courts standards, are known as a criminal ring. They were the people behind the killing of 3 people last month in Antwerpen. I will give you 1 guess as to where I go to court to fight for my daughter. Yes, you guessed it. Antwerpen. the most racistpart of Belgium full of people who do not want anyone in their town except for Belgians. It would not take a lot for my ex to get into the pocket of anyone there. He has money and politics on his side. And my daughter? Well she is just a pawn in his sick twisted game to hurt me.

How do you think it makes me feel every time I talk to her on the phone and she cries and tells me that she does not want to live there? Before she had to go to her father's, he REFUSED to see her for 12 months and he told Alia on the phone "if you live with your mother, I do not want to see you". She was 5 years old when he said that to her. What can I do when she tells me that her grandmother is hitting her? The police say nothing as he has the court verdict in his favor. what can I do? I am trying to get my daughter into safe hands again but how? What can I do? Keep paying the lawyers bills that is now standing a over 8,000 euro? What can I do except to pray and tell my daughter that I love her.

This Sunday is my daughter's birthday. It is also Father's Day. Who do you think will be getting the attention? She did not even see her father for 1 year before she had to live with him beginning the day after Christmas 2005. He went and left her for a week at his mother's so he could work. This was a time when she needed him the most. She needed emotional support and love to see her through a difficult transitional time in her life. Then there is me. My daughter is 7 on Sunday. All ofour traditions for the last 6 years are lost because of a racist country and because the lawyers, judges and the legal system can still be bought. Why is that the good people always lose? I thought they said the good always win. 7 years of fighting. It's not for me. I don't care what is said about me or what is done to me. I just don't want my child brought into the middle of it. If you can not fight your own battles and need to use a child as your pawn, you do not deserve to be a parent. I do not respect my ex as a human, but I do respect him as a father. That is why I gave up my family and my country.for the love of my daughter. I will not stop fighting until she is safe. Until she feels safety, love, stability and security.