2am and can't sleep

The other night I had something in my head and because of it I could not sleep, I grabbed a scrap paper and started writing what I was seeing in my mind, the images and also the feelings, it has taken me a few days to write this in my blog because my handwriting at 2am seems to be hard to understand, I think my calling in life is to be a doctor after seeing my scribbles.

~*~*2am and can't sleep*~*~

These images flash in my head of an orchard, seeds planted at different times in my life, seeds of a sister, a best friend, a lover, a mother, some pruned, cherished, cared for others left to their own device.
Being a lover and a mother is what you make it .
Love is like a plant you need to water it to keep it alive and growing, you need to prune it but very carefully- you don't want to cut off a Branch that could bare many fruits in the future, that is the gamble in life everyone takes, the only thing we can do is work with the tools we have at hand.
So when I look at my orchard, is it the orchard I wanted ? Are things as prosperous as they could be? Did I weed all the bad things out to protect thing I care so much for ? Do I really have control over my orchard (life) and the direction it travels ?

Why I could not sleep at 2am these were the images now you see it too.