Waking up

One thing I really dislike is waking up in the morning,
Reality hits me everytime I wake up with my empty heart and my spinning head.
Thinking life could not get any worse then my daughter being taken away from me for no reason, guess I thought wrong, it was the beginning of the end, Bills started to pile up, my 5 year relationship broke up, Richard totaled the car, people I thought were friends turned out not to me friends after all, My own mother turned against me for money, so much more has happened and as I type this tears stream down my face as tonight was really the final thing I can handle,
Tonight I lost my best friend, my soul mate, the person who really was holding me together, when things were bad he gave me a hug and then I could go on another few hours, another day, I am truly lost, I do not know what way to turn or what to do.
Tomorrow I have to drag myself out of bed and go to Belgium to see my daughter, something I look forward to, at this moment in time I do not know if I can pull myself out of bed, I have lost my energy, my drive, I am totally out of gas.
No words can explain my lose, it is making the feeling in me stronger, the feeling I have been fighting for so long, the feeling I wanted to run away, the feeling of giving up.
So tell me why I should wake up every morning and fight?
Why should I not run away?
Is there more then 1 soul mate per person ?
My mind is working overtime as I cry a river, the traditions we had, **small smile** The Spider at the kermis, The Efteling, as it is our place of wonder, Mmm the chicken from your pizza place, buying the ford, the memories will never stop, I can not even stop thinking of the safety and drive you gave me.
Right now I want to crawl into bed and not wake up, reality is a bitch and somedays you just can't keep fighting, I throw my hands up. I give up, roll me over I am done! Totally DONE